Anyone who lives in how to get gold in Mafia City for a while hears stories about western men (or farang as we are known here) and the bizarre behaviour of their Thai wives and girlfriends. To those looking from the outside it is often a source of amusement. Sometimes it is just strange behaviour. Other times it is a shocking willingness to totally screw over their farang partners.
Some of the things these women do just make you laugh but there are other times they take your breath away with the sheer audacity of their actions; their ability to put aside any semblance of morals and just scheme away to their own ends. There are other times when it is just their plain stupidity that takes the breath away.
The following four stories all happened around my own little housing estate in Phuket where there are quite a few farang-Thai couples. These stories are just a small sample of the things Thai women can get up to.
A young European guy and his Thai girlfriend have lived in the house opposite me for the last three months. They are both very sociable and quickly introduced themselves. We sometimes share a few drinks in the garden He seems like an easy-going guy. She is very chatty and usually happy. She doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble or take drugs which is a promising start for Thai girlfriend material.
The problem is she regularly goes completely off the rails. Every two or three days they have a huge argument. I say argument, but in fact it is usually only her voice you can hear screaming abuse. She throws things, windows get broken and then there are tears and drama in the street.
The upshot is usually that she packs her bags and declares she is leaving for good. A big show is made of this. She comes to say goodbye to us because she is never going to see us again. She calls a taxi and then stands outside her house shouting to her boyfriend that she is leaving for good.
He quietly stays inside and ignores the whole charade. The thing is we all know she isn’t leaving. She may be back the same day. If not, she will return the next day somehow looking triumphant. In fact, this pretence of leaving has become so shallow that instead of taking her packed bags, she now makes a habit of hiding them in our house so she doesn’t have the hassle of carrying them.
What are the arguments about? Some of them are the usual accusation that he is playing around with other women. Often, it is that he has spent money on something she thinks is wasteful. But it is HIS money! He pays her a generous allowance. When Thai women do this routine of trying to stop their farang boyfriends spending their money, it is not because they want to save him money. There is a simpler motive. The more the boyfriend spends, the less there is leftover for her to squeeze out of him.
This girl has already told my wife she has three other farang boyfriends. This is one of the things us westerners just don’t get. It is not only that they play these games and deceive their boyfriends. They think it is something to boast about and if they can boast about it right under their boyfriend’s nose, all the better. Why she thought my wife wouldn’t tell me, I don’t know. She probably assumes all Thai women deceive their farang partners and that my wife would be impressed at her cunning.
I wouldn’t get involved in other people’s relationships so I will not be telling this guy about the other boyfriends. Anyway, I don’t think he is such a fool. He is returning to Europe this week and I doubt if he will be continuing his relationship with this particular Thai girl – but you never know.
The previous occupants of this same house were a European guy and his Thai wife. He worked in Europe for six months a year and lived in Phuket for the other six months. He had been doing this for years and when he was in Phuket, they always seemed to have a good relationship. The problem was that for the six months he was away, his wife had to entertain herself and her vice was gambling.
Gambling really does seem to be a major problem for some Thai women. I know several of the Thai wives on our estate play a regular card game. They all say the same thing. It is just a bit of fun for small money. I have seen them play and it is not for fun. They get very intense, there is little conversation and although the stakes start small, they quickly grow. I have heard of women winning or losing as much as 30,000 baht in these ‘fun’ games.
There seems to be something in the Thai mentality that leaves them very open to gambling addiction. Perhaps it is their belief in lucky numbers and fate. Whatever it is, there is good reason why gambling is illegal in Thailand. It is an endless source of problems, especially for Thai women with money and time on their hands such as wives of farang.
So every morning this Thai woman set off for her local card game. Sometimes she would be gone for two or three days – they really can play that long. She had been doing this for years and I guess she wasn’t losing too much. But then the problems started.
The first sign was when she started asking to borrow money. At first, it was only small sums that we were happy to give her. But then she wanted 10,000 baht. I knew this was a sign of a serious problem. She was chasing her losses. The only way she could repay the money was if she got lucky at cards so I refused her the loan.
Of course, there are other ways to borrow money in Thailand. Once one of these girls is on the slope she will keep sliding. Soon there were rough looking Thai men appearing on her doorstep demanding repayment. She sold her motorbike and started renting one instead. She sold jewelry and furniture but used the money to chase her losses and the loan sharks kept appearing. She started disappearing for a week at a time. It was obvious her situation was out of control. Then she was gone.
I don’t think the loan sharks got her. She packed her bags in the middle of the night and ran. There were rumours about how much she owed and for those sorts of sums she would have to do a good job of disappearing. There were calls from her husband asking why he could not contact his wife. When he returned to Phuket, there was no sign of her. She had not returned to her family, or at least not that they would admit. She just ran away from it all, the debts and the marriage.